i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
