I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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