Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You've changed since you got that strap on
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
