Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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