her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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