fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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