This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
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Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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