Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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