i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Randomize