Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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