don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
