There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
