tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
