First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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