dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
