It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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