now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
