so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
