Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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