she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
