Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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