so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
