That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
