I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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