You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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