worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
