it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
