ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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