I want to make a zoo with you.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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