Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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