so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
