And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
