I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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