Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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