During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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