weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
