Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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