sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize