Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
