Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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