is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
