She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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