So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
