We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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