Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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