I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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