It's Friday. Sex?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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