I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Found your dick twin last night
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
