Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
