brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
