Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
