I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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