I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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