yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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