I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
