He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
