Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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