on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
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We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
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You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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