Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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