your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
