THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
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That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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