she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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