went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
be right there i have to get my cape
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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