I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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