i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
where does the pee come out of this thing
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
